VICTORIA • BC Minister of Earth, Wind and Fire, Joyce Murray, has pledged that she will make changes to the newly restarted grizzly hunt to ensure the preservation of a newly endangered species. Murray made the surprise announcement at this weekend's ribbon-shooting ceremony to mark the BC Liberals' lifting of the grizzly hunting moratorium.

Her words brought a collective gasp from the assembled black-tie, orange-vest crowd and a few nervously fingered their high-powered rifles. Murray quickly explained that she was "pretty sure BC has thousands of grizzly bears out there somewhere, but we're worried about a scientifically-documented precipitous decline in the number of grizzly hunters."

Murray assured her audience that this tragic extinction could still be averted. "My government will do everything in their power to protect this endangered species and preserve viable populations of grizzly hunters -- who will be able to tell bear-killing stories to future generations," she declared.

"My ministry has moved quickly to remove 14 fundamentalist wildlife preservation and biodiversity researchers whose pathological preoccupation with grizzly numbers missed the camouflage forest for the treed bears," said Murray, "and we will replace them with experts on the eatin', drinkin', drivin' and shootin' habits of big game hunters -- to improve their survival and comfort."

Murray noted that the BC Liberals' previously announced tax cut on Sport Utility Vehicles would be a boon to hunters -- they would soon be able to afford more luxury SUVs.

"For more than 100 years, BC has provided crucial -- and globally unique -- habitat for bear trophy seekers from around the world. The BC Liberal government is proud to restore that important tradition by reversing the hated NDP's counter-productive grizzly hunting moratorium," crowed Murray.

In a bold conservation move to return grizzly hunter populations to historic levels, Murray announced that BC would be offering a 2-for-1 special on the $3000 grizzly trophy fee this fall. "This is the best way to ensure that hunters pair up and quickly multiply their numbers," she said.

Murray pointed out that the grizzly hunt would have many positive spin-offs in the provincial economy. "The many US and German CEOs who enjoy world-class trophy hunting will experience that BC is open for business again. After the thrill of shooting an 800 pound bear, they'll want to come back and bag a few BC-based companies, blast an open-pit mine, or make a killing in offshore oil and gas," she concluded.