CALGARY • In his first major policy announcement of the election campaign, Canadian Alliance leader Stockwell Day today unveiled a bold new plan for streamlining health care services in Canada.

"Common sense dictates people with similar abilities should be streamed together, like in the education system," said Mr. Day. He told assembled journalists that these initiatives build on, but go far beyond, the two-tiered health system that he and Ralph Klein recently established in Alberta. Mr. Day exclaimed that "more efficiently targeted services will benefit ALL Canadians... with high incomes."

"People with fiscal handicaps will benefit because their health-stream will have more affordable fees and they won't be confused by too much complicated technical equipment," he explained. Those in the higher cost streams would no longer be held back by the funding disabilities of patients with lower financial quotients, according to Mr. Day.

Mr. Day noted that services would have delivery systems designed for the specific needs of each financial stream. The policy promises that, although Canada is a vast and sparsely populated country, new technology can cost-effectively bring equally poor access for lower-streamed health care users in urban settings and remote communities. Innovative high-tech proposals include:

• New direct-broadcast satellites (so-called "death stars") beaming affordable pay-per-view medical consultations into every home.
• Tele-Interactive Diagnostic Expert Systems (known as "Dial-a-Doc") which allow pre-patients to dial a single 1-900 number and receive state-of-the art medical attention: "your medical emergency is very important to us, please press 1 for a list of symptom options." Any charges would conveniently appear on the patient's phone bill.
• A new cable channel, Much Medical, with 24-hour health and fitness programming such as: medical video request shows; health game shows with fun and educational medical questions; reruns of medical theme dramas (e.g., Marcus Welby MD or General Hospital). A panel of experts would screen all programming to ensure a high level of health infotainment value.
• HighTech HealthWeb - large tax credits will be available to pharmaceutical and medical service corporations that produce educational websites and streaming webcasts about their products.
• Maquiladora Medicare long-term facilities -- patients with chronic, debilitating illnesses would get to enjoy the sun, fun and reduced facility salary input costs in the tax-free zones of Mexico. Personal webcams would provide virtual contact with their families during visiting hours.

• Gold MediCard, a premium credit card issued by provincial health programs and charging interest rates competitive with major cards. Gold MediCard users would have special "front of the line" privileges and with every purchase they would also receive bonus "stitches" toward future elective surgery.
• Corporate health hospitality suites would allow for business-class executive-stream quality care in normal medical facilities.
• Luxury stretch-limo ambulance service fees for the wealthy-stream could help subsidize the purchase of used vehicles for the ambulance bus (am-bus) system of budget-streams.

• Rebates and incentive contracts could be negotiated for the exclusive use of a single brand of medication or medical device.
• New communication infrastructure costs could be underwritten by discrete sponsorship messages (e.g., "this wireless nurse call service is brought to you by Microsoft").
• Cafeteria upgrading costs could be reduced by exclusive franchising of food services to major restaurant chains and extra-billing for luxuries such as room service.
• Name sponsorship could provide revenue streams for new facilities (e.g., "Ford Explorer Trauma Centre," "duMaurier Burn Unit").